The flashback scenes in ’Til Death Do Us Part chronicle the time from when Henry and Sam first began their courtship through to the night before Henry leaves on his ill-fated flight. To catch up with the flashback scenes previously posted, click this link to the the category archives: https://authoraddisonalbright.com/category/til-death-do-us-part/flashback-scenes-from-sams-pov/.
This series of blog posts was motivated by a comment from one of the book’s reviewers, Bethany at Rainbow Gold Reviews, who made the comment that she wished the flashback scenes had been from Sam’s POV instead of from Henry’s.
This week’s scene is from the 12th flashback in the book, found at the beginning of Chapter 13. While I’ve come to agree that Sam’s POV might be preferable in most instances, this time I preferred Henry’s. The whole point of this scene was the buildup of Henry’s thoughts to his own statement at the end. Sam’s thoughts, while nice, don’t have the same effect since that closing comment is from Henry. If I was to switch to Henry’s POV for some future/potential 2nd edition, that last line would have to be changed to Sam’s dialogue of what he was thankful for (even so, I think I’d still prefer Henry’s for this one). But, for the purposes of this exercise, dialogue is remaining unchanged.
As they went around his family’s Thanksgiving table, each taking a turn to say what they were thankful for, Sam couldn’t help but think about how wonderfully his life had come together. He was happier than he’d ever imagined possible since Henry’d first asked him out during their joint research trip in the Solomons. His heart skipped a beat as he glanced at Henry. He was over the moon now that he and Henry were engaged to be married.
Sam was thankful his family had embraced his fiancé with open arms. They’d never questioned Sam’s sexuality, and they’d never done or said anything to make him feel less loved because of it. Henry’s family, sadly, was another story.
Henry’s expression was thoughtful as he listened with a studious concentration to each person’s thanks. When his turn came, Henry said, “I am thankful for Sam’s love. I’m thankful that I’ve gained not just a future husband but his whole wonderful family. Thank you all for making me feel so welcomed and loved.”
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’Til Death Do Us Part
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I agree. This really didn’t work, because after reading Sam’s internal dialogue I expect him to say what he’s thankful for, not Henry. If this had been a critiquing session I would have complained about it 😉
And I also agree that I prefer this one from Henry’s POV. It was more impactful. Interesting!!
Yeah, I tried to transition it, but it’s not enough. Adding more after the existing scene to cover Sam verbalizing his thanks would help, but it would have been a rehash of this thoughts. This scene would have to be replaced altogether, maybe with a dialogue between Sam and Henry with Henry saying the stuff he’d thought in the book version.
Maybe they could have a private moment just between the two of them…after the whole family dinner thing when they are grateful for each other, and have the discussion you mention? 🙂
Yes, or replace it with something completely unrelated to Thanksgiving. Although I did like having Henry’s family background fleshed out, so maybe still try to make it centered around that. I don’t know.