TREADMILL Week 129 and What I #AmReading – Earth Fathers Are Weird by Lyn Gala

Treadmill Goals/Tracking

  • Get on the treadmill (or equivalent exercise) daily
  • Pace is fine at 30 min/mile, although I may up it on occasion
  • Time range between 30 minutes and 1 hour per day
  • Distance 1-2 miles per day
  • Read the chosen book, which I won’t allow myself to read outside of my treadmill time, hopefully motivating me to reach or exceed the above goals (exception…at the end of the week where a book is highlighted, I will finish it off-treadmill so I can feature something new the next week)

Week 129: May 12, 2019 – May 18, 2019

Sunday 30 min/mile 30:33 min:sec 1 mile
Monday 30 min/mile 30:54 min:sec 1 mile
Tuesday 30 min/mile 31:07 min:sec 1 mile
Wednesday 30 min/mile 33:20 min:sec 1 mile
Thursday 30 min/mile 30:54 min:sec 1 mile
Friday 30 min/mile 30:10 min:sec 1 mile
Saturday 30 min/mile 30:38 min:sec 1 mile

What I’m Reading

Note: Although I will try to avoid them, my weekly reading snippets may or may not contain spoilers, so read at your own risk.

What I #amreading: Earth Fathers Are Weird by Lyn Gala

Captain Maxwell Davis and his entire unit scrambled to engage alien ships over Iowa. The aliens snatched him out of his destroyed jet before they continued on their interplanetary hot pursuit. Then they informed Max that Earth was too far outside regular shipping lanes to return him to his planet.

So Max ends up in an alien spaceport looking for work. To afford a ticket home he can either spend three hundred years working with linguists to improve the computer’s questionable ability to translate English or he can take a job as a nanny for an unpopular alien. That way he can afford the ticket in four years. The problem is that the computer may have mistranslated the word “nanny” and there might be a reason an alien is willing to pay such a high fee.

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My favorite lines this week…

✿✿ SUNDAY ✿✿

Totally fucked was total and fucked, and whether the level of fuckedness was multiplied by two or ten didn’t matter.

✿✿ MONDAY ✿✿

“Query. Dogs.”

“Anther species. I have raised two dogs. I raised a cow once.” Considering that had been for 4-H, Max planned to avoid any discussion of what had happened to it.


“Query. Assist I in removing gas?”

Max did not even want to think about what Rick might do to get the gas out of the intestines. However, whatever plan he came up with, Max preferred to stick with the tried and true method. A little fart party and he’d be fine. “No. It’s natural. I appreciate your concern, but I’ve been dealing with human intestines for a while. Sometimes it’s best to let them be gassy.”

Rick swam toward the edge of the water, pulling Max with him. “Translation matrix failure.”


“It’s fine,” Max said, even though it wasn’t.

Rick inched closer, and a tentacle brushed against Max’s arm. “Regret causing of distress. Max is pleasant and interesting male individual.”

It was still the nicest apology Max had gotten in a while.


Max wandered to food storage and grabbed a couple of the bars that had an almost chocolatey black bean flavor to them. Those were not two foods Max would’ve put together, but the combination worked. It was better than the small round discs that tasted like someone had chemically joined an asparagus and a fart.

✿✿ FRIDAY ✿✿

And that was another field of landmines. To hell with needing a linguist, Max needed some sort of diplomat up here, or maybe a sociologist. He was not qualified to answer the children’s questions. His brother had never been quite so annoying. He’d asked stupid and innocuous questions like why the sky was blue or why didn’t airplanes fall down. Max could answer one of those two.


Rick was a pretty touchy-feely alien. Even after the offspring had been born, he’d tended to swim or walk within tentacle reach. More than once, he’d rested one of his light green tentacles on Max’s shoulder, allowing the red tip to dangle. Rick had explained that thousands of years ago, his people had used the red color to attract prey, but now it was decorative. He’d explained that he was quite proud of how much red he had on his tentacles. Apparently, Rick was a real looker.

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